Aaaaah... That hot cup of solace from a lone stall on a bleak, shivering day. No posh tea could beat That!
March came rolling in with double digit temperatures, and the daffs in the garden just started playing Peepo! with me, but oh no! Jealous Snow Queen turns up again to punish me with icicles and howling snow! :o(
February and March always have their share of special days. I am not quite sure if I buy into the concept of celebrating "days". I must be the worst memory chip ever designed, you know, the ones that get almost discarded but then sold off on a seconds sale. I forget my own birthday / wedding anniversary etc leave alone remember those of others! I have had instances of my cousins calling to wish me and me asking them what the occasion was!
Anyway, I was meaning all the Valentine's day, Father's day, Mother's day and all similar ones. I like the idea of putting a smile on the faces of someone who means so much to you, but I am not at all for the commercial aspect of it. It is okay that they might be the bread and butter of Hallmark and Moonpig and what-not card companies, but these cards, they are such spoilsports! Even if some of them are really very beautiful and bring out just the perfect feeling, I must admit!
Personally, I rather prefer the home-made ones, the odd paint blobs and finger smudges included. They show someone really took the time. Someone thought about you and broke their back to do something to make you smile. I love that very much. These days we try to make our own cards for all occasions. ( hehe particularly after my little boy started having parties at the rate of 2 per month, each jointly for 3 or 4 kids. In their class, everybody gives parties to everybody!)
I used to be against all these "days" thing. Particularly Mother's day. I would think - why celebrate your mother on just that day, she should be celebrated every single day. That was a very young, very strong and confident ME talking, I think. Because after all these years of being mum to two typhoons,and not being "celebrated" at all, I am beginning to have second thoughts.
I wonder how many people still follow the basic tradition of Mothering Sunday - to go to their mother Church with their family and pray, a holiday to be with their mother and other members of family and do family activities. For the time-pressed, gadget obsessed generation of today, it has become a very easy way out - just get a card, a bunch of flowers, some slippers or pyjamas or girly things and that's all done! Who cares what Mum really wants, am done with the job.
At home, this year was a sweet surprise. As ever, my boys came to me asking what I wanted for Mother's day. I told them I wanted the usual - cuddles and kisses for me and cards and letters for their Grannies. The boys went one step ahead. They made Tea for me ( they sure know how to please Mum and get away with treats!), made breakfast as well, hoovered the house, put the rubbish out, and to top it all, made some delicious toffee for me all by themselves ( they said the recipe was from a book I got for them. They even wanted to make the lunch, but my motherly inner-self's warning intercepted just in time and saved the kitchen from the imminent threat!!) That was the best treat, the best gift I had ever received! I was so overjoyed and that moment I realized - all mums could certainly do with some attention and pampering. Even if it is for just one day, it is a very wonderful way to feel loved, to smile at those genuine attempts made by your little ones to make you feel special.
How many times in a day do we take Mums for granted! As if that is not enough, we even idolize Mums and make so many quotes about her faultless, selfless, ever-smiling love, sacrifice etc and make them feel immensely under pressure to be all that they are meant to be as per those poems and verses. I mean of course a Mum is all of that quite naturally, but darn it, she is also a woman by herself - someone with anger, resentment, disappointments, hard choices, fallible, sometimes wanting to be selfish, sometimes with a little ego and sometimes wanting to be so far away from everyone, as well! The most cruel thing you could do to a mother is to pile all those quotes of highest, almost impossible expectations on her, thereby making any normal and sane mother feel like a failure. If a mother is to be idolized, it is not because she spreads love beyond all such human negativities, but despite all of it.
For it takes a strong-willed mother to raise beyond all those feelings and emotions and still love their family like mad. Despite being ignored, despite being taken for granted, despite being angered, depressed, forever tired, deprived of their dreams or with innumerable changes to all their life-plans. That, only a mother could do.
And for that, even if it is hugely inadequate, a day of celebration is only befitting.
If only children understood that in the whole world, despite all their military rules, mothers are the easiest to please. All it takes is just a call, a hug, a few hours of patient listening, a day off from the drudging routine and some kind words.
And perhaps a cup of steaming hot tea - just plain!
March came rolling in with double digit temperatures, and the daffs in the garden just started playing Peepo! with me, but oh no! Jealous Snow Queen turns up again to punish me with icicles and howling snow! :o(
February and March always have their share of special days. I am not quite sure if I buy into the concept of celebrating "days". I must be the worst memory chip ever designed, you know, the ones that get almost discarded but then sold off on a seconds sale. I forget my own birthday / wedding anniversary etc leave alone remember those of others! I have had instances of my cousins calling to wish me and me asking them what the occasion was!
Anyway, I was meaning all the Valentine's day, Father's day, Mother's day and all similar ones. I like the idea of putting a smile on the faces of someone who means so much to you, but I am not at all for the commercial aspect of it. It is okay that they might be the bread and butter of Hallmark and Moonpig and what-not card companies, but these cards, they are such spoilsports! Even if some of them are really very beautiful and bring out just the perfect feeling, I must admit!
Personally, I rather prefer the home-made ones, the odd paint blobs and finger smudges included. They show someone really took the time. Someone thought about you and broke their back to do something to make you smile. I love that very much. These days we try to make our own cards for all occasions. ( hehe particularly after my little boy started having parties at the rate of 2 per month, each jointly for 3 or 4 kids. In their class, everybody gives parties to everybody!)
I used to be against all these "days" thing. Particularly Mother's day. I would think - why celebrate your mother on just that day, she should be celebrated every single day. That was a very young, very strong and confident ME talking, I think. Because after all these years of being mum to two typhoons,and not being "celebrated" at all, I am beginning to have second thoughts.
I wonder how many people still follow the basic tradition of Mothering Sunday - to go to their mother Church with their family and pray, a holiday to be with their mother and other members of family and do family activities. For the time-pressed, gadget obsessed generation of today, it has become a very easy way out - just get a card, a bunch of flowers, some slippers or pyjamas or girly things and that's all done! Who cares what Mum really wants, am done with the job.
At home, this year was a sweet surprise. As ever, my boys came to me asking what I wanted for Mother's day. I told them I wanted the usual - cuddles and kisses for me and cards and letters for their Grannies. The boys went one step ahead. They made Tea for me ( they sure know how to please Mum and get away with treats!), made breakfast as well, hoovered the house, put the rubbish out, and to top it all, made some delicious toffee for me all by themselves ( they said the recipe was from a book I got for them. They even wanted to make the lunch, but my motherly inner-self's warning intercepted just in time and saved the kitchen from the imminent threat!!) That was the best treat, the best gift I had ever received! I was so overjoyed and that moment I realized - all mums could certainly do with some attention and pampering. Even if it is for just one day, it is a very wonderful way to feel loved, to smile at those genuine attempts made by your little ones to make you feel special.
For it takes a strong-willed mother to raise beyond all those feelings and emotions and still love their family like mad. Despite being ignored, despite being taken for granted, despite being angered, depressed, forever tired, deprived of their dreams or with innumerable changes to all their life-plans. That, only a mother could do.
And for that, even if it is hugely inadequate, a day of celebration is only befitting.
If only children understood that in the whole world, despite all their military rules, mothers are the easiest to please. All it takes is just a call, a hug, a few hours of patient listening, a day off from the drudging routine and some kind words.
And perhaps a cup of steaming hot tea - just plain!
That's so sweet... your boys made you a glass of tea, toffee and breakfast! So true that even those few minutes of attention from the FAMILY makes you feel so pampered.
ReplyDeleteOh how much I missed these tea breaks with you.. i always read your tea break with my afternoon tea.. sipping it as i type this :-)
ReplyDeleteVery cute of M1 and M2 to pamper their mom.
ReplyDeletePlaying the devils advocate here ..
Are we moms really "selfless" in what we do for our kids?
Dont we do it just because they are "ours" and feel like what they do and say somehow reflects on us? Arent we a not of narcs that way ???
Anyway, just trying to present a different point of view.
No we aren't selfless, we have our own emotions, good and bad also. That's why my crib about the society idealizing, idolizing Mums.
DeleteTrue, we always make the mistake of seeing our child as an extension of our own self. Perhaps it springs from our nature-bestowed basic animal instinct of protecting "our offspring and our offspring only" in the face of adversity ( = society!!!)
Narcs, all of us certainly are - Mums in particular. No doubt about that! Parading our kids' victories, hiding behind their failures (which are nothing but our ambitions for them gone astray, NOT their failure AT ALL), forgetting they have as much right as a free individual as we have! I totally agree to your point of view!
And yes, in moments of danger and adversity there could be no one as selfless as a Mother. What I was trying to say was that on any other normal bathroom-cleaning, rubbish-disposing, cooking and feeding routine day, mothers have every right to be non-selfless and should not be idolized so much that they have to feel guilty over an act as little as having a stowaway cake in the closet. :o) ( Aww... I thought I could almost get away with the angry bird mode that I often get into with the boys using this justification :o) )
DeleteI feel like the society does put a mom on a pedestal, and there is a widespread belief that a child makes a woman's life complete. In essence, if a woman doesnt have a child, she is worthless. I get mighty offended by that point of view. Like the only way a woman can be validated is by becoming a mother! It is insulting. So I take all these idolizing of mothers with a grain of salt. Not nitpicking on you, you do make a lot of valid points that I agree with but you also gave me a place to vent and rant :)))
ReplyDeleteCan't agree more. Man = Man. If Woman <> Mother, then <> woman equation is totally disgusting. One of the many hurtful assumptions of a corrupt, corrupted, corrupting society.
DeleteAnd pleased to know you consider this forum worthy enough for your rants. I LOVE rants! :o)